Stuff I Have Said (without context): Faking It

"It's like in a hypothetical situation where your friend says their ex is good in bed, and one night you're bored and feeling fat and so you end up hitting said ex, and it turns out to be worse than the next time you have sex, years later, when you had to tell the guy to thrust (which by the way was a statement millions of years of evolution should have prevented me from ever having to make. Not that I just told you a true story or anything. Everything in that last sentence was a lie)."