Differences Between Soulless Evil Corporations and Small Business, Part II

About two months after I started my current job, I wrote this post.  Now that I have been at my current job eight months (two months more than the other job referred to in that post), I bring you some more comparisons:

Retail	Office
Receive memos from corporate with words like "isle" in place of "aisle". New (micro)manager doesn't know how to use apostrophes. In a workplace of 175+ people, exactly three people are both aware of these mistakes and are bothered by them	"This memo has five mistakes. I circled two. Find the other three." After an hour and a half of getting paid $14 an hour to find the third mistake, I discovered that apparently stylistic choices count as mistakes.
"You know, if we talked this way at a real job, or even out on the floor, we'd probably get fired." (in reference to things my female friends cannot believe my male coworkers and I say to each other, even with context)	Almost got fired for using up-speak and talking with my hands.
in a calm, droning, almost-Lundburghian voice: "This is considered a warning. I am recording this conversation... so, no big deal, just stop doing it."	"Give me one good reason I shouldn't fire you right now! I mean, how many chances do YOU give people?"
Employee of the Week	Employee Not the Target of Employer's Wrath of the Week
"Well, go to the ER and get checked out. This is why we pay into worker's comp."	"Worker's compensation is a Communist conspiracy."
"Damn it, a bird got in here again. Anyone got a pellet gun?"	"Now now, birdie, don't divebomb my employees ::cackle::
"Wow, it was like watching someone crash a champagne fountain, only better. Good work, Abbadon."--after destroying over $100 worth of merchandise	"These are people's LIVES you're talking about. Maybe you're in the wrong profession!"--after I allegedly missed the point of a case I cited in a motion that my attorney only decided to file after I caught a possible error because, well shit, someone's life was at stake dudes.
"Just remember dude: this is a job, not a career. Unless you're [name of coworker who is an enemy of fun]."	Damn it, that was supposed to be my career.