From the Archives: Questions Regarding Proposed Amendment 62

Dug this up from my old blog's archive file.  Two years ago, Prop 48 in Colorado failed by a wide margin.  Today, the same assholes are running Prop 62, which is the same amendment with new wording.  I have the same questions for these douches now as I did back then:
 

1.) Can I drive in the carpool lane if I'm pregnant?  Technically, I have a passenger.
2.) Will women coming to this country illegally to have anchor babies have their "pre-born" child declared an illegal immigrant too?  I bet Tom Tancredo'd totally back me on this one.
3.) Can I start throwing my kid a conception day party?  This would serve the dual purpose of celebrating the beginning of my child's life and reminding my husband to check all condoms for pinholes.
4.) Considering that many pro-life types say that birth control is an abortifacient, will birth control be criminalized?  If so, will the government pay for all 18 of my children to have health care and college educations?  After all, if I can't get birth control, the only contraceptive I have access to is shame about expressing my sexual desires.  And condoms.  But who likes condoms?
5.) Can a man sue a woman on behalf of their "pre-born" child because like... the woman is doing something he doesn't think is in the "pre-born" child's best interest?  I am not just talking crack here, folks.  Caffeine is bad for pregnant women.  So is tuna fish.  And there seem to be carcinogens lurking around every corner.
6.) If human life begins at conception, does that include animal life too?  If so, can we start screaming at vegetarians who eat eggs that they are no better than Conor Oberst and his piscatarian emo ass?  (don't I already do this?)
7.) Will it eventually get to the point that I have to get wi-fi for my uterus?
8.) Will the government begin systematically rounding up wire coat hangers like they are Joan Crawford?
9.) Can I charge my "pre-born" child's father a fee for the renting of my uterus?
10.) If this proposal is about giving the "pre-born" equal civil rights, then why are politicians not as concerned with the Equal Rights Amendment?
11.) Are my children going to eventually invade Russia for their "genocide" against the "pre-born" (105 abortions for every 100 live births, folks)?  If so, will my cupcake/masturbation-centric religion be government-recognized in time to give them a religious excuse to get out of it?
12.) Can I get in trouble for being verbally abusive to my "pre-born" child?
13.) Do gay "pre-born" children get equal civil rights?
14.) Most importantly, can I argue the "Make My Day" law in defense to having an abortion?  My thought is that... in some abortion situations, it's either abort the baby or we both go down together. 

Until the Right can show me how they plan to prevent me from abusing the carpool lane by faking hysterical pregnancy (and how this amendment won't take away my rights to my own body), I am voting NO on Prop 62.  Please join me, Colorado!