Stuff I Have Said (without context): Why Do I Speculate About Such Things?

"He is someone I could probably freezer-rape because there's no real size difference. I just wouldn't want to."

Stuff I Have Said (without context): Oh, and I am not a stripper either

"The state of our work area right now is a passive-aggressive testament to the effort it took me not to straight up murder our new coworker.  Have fun tomorrow, dude!"

Stuff I Have Said (without context): Cinema

"I can't look at you right now!  No one born during the Reagan Administration has any excuse for never seeing the movie 'Wayne's World'."

Stuff I Have Said (without context): Pwned

"I'm sitting there too... well, it's the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.  I am like an electron and you cannot predict whether I am sitting in this chair or that chair... well what are you going to do, invent Heisenberg compensators like on Star Trek?  EXPLAIN HOW THAT TECHNOLOGY WORKS!"

I am smarter without sleep.

Insomnia Chronicles: Chimera

Theory re: dude-like qualities. I had a twin in utero that was male. Mom smoking pot gave me the munchies and I ate my twin, giving me his DNA and dude powers.

Sharktopus won't be kept at bay!

I was Angler Sharktopus for Halloween, but the pictures turned out bad.  Apparently Blogger realized this, because check these nachos out:

Uh, yes.  Yes that does look like a shark dorsal fin!

The shape occurs during the period I was wearing my costume.  COINCIDENCE?

Because No Event is Too Sacred For a South Park Reference

Possibly, maybe, this is a real picture of "Eris Greenberg" and her icky mouth.